Your Own reflection Made be your Biggest Question

Written By Sdwjr



Secretly, I go by the name of NeNe but my real name is YAYA.I grew up in a certain place that I didn’t ever fit in but I considered it my place of birth.If you ask me why I didn’t fit in I wouldn’t give you a definite answer but I didn’t fit in.It has nothing to do with me not being loved and accepted  because I was loved and accepted probably than most child.I just didn’t fit in with those who were my family.

As a child I always saw the world as Black and White.I was raised like that and where I was raised that how it was.I could record my family telling me that is how the world is.I believed it because that is how I saw the world around me.Since I was a color child I gravitated to my own kind with oneness.I didn’t concern myself too much with those who weren’t like me.I guessed  they did feel the same as I felt about myself and my race.

God! Oh,God! I finally got the opportunity at the age of 25 to attend graduate school in Atlanta Georgia.It was a full scholarship at Georgia Tech with the possibility  of joining the legal team.I got on campus few days before classes could resumed  and I had the chance to introduce myself to another color person,who happened to be my roommate, and she goes by the name of Precious .We greeted each other, and we talked about things that adults  talked about.We both vibe felt like we were the perfect roommate.

Few days before classes began, I heard a knock on the door,I opened the door and it was another roommate.She didn’t speak to me,she walked to her bed and started to unpacked her stuff.I watched her unpacked privately like I wasn’t watching.She started arranging her books, and I saw one that looks like my father’s book.I remembered it very well because my father always read it.When I had the chance to opened  it up and read.I remembered a part that said,”Color people are your worst enemy.

Before my father died, the guys talked about what’s in the news and what’s on their minds told me as a child that I would never fit in or be accepted but I should accept it and live with it and believe that I am always accepted.Once my roommate got settle,I said loud to her,welcome! What do you know about that book.She said,“You mean this one?” I know you don’t believe those things that are said about color people? She said, I believed every single one to be true.

Around 8am the next morning,I got ready to jug, and  she said,“You must come to grab with the fact that color people never got along.Africans and African Americans will never get along.You  can’t ignored that reality of deep hatred.It is all around you, and trust and believe you see it everyday.That is a reality you most be willing to accept and understand.The world isn’t black or White.” I walked out of the dorm room and closed the door quietly.

Those words of her kept replaying in my head as I kept jugging.It makes no sense why color people don’t get alone when they’re the same kind.If they really got alone, just imagine what they can be,I believed they’re the most powerful  being on planet earth.Again,I knew the world wasn’t black and White.My father told me that as a child before he died.I knew I wouldn’t be accepted because of my color, race and ethnicity.I just didn’t want to accept it and live with that reality  but I had to so I can move on.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.