Spouses are not designed to be our primary source of love and fulfillment.


Written by Sdwjr

Who or what are you depending on as your primary source of love? I truly believe God is drawing us closer in to receive His love. In a world that pulls at us and demands our attention, God wants to redirect us back to Him as our source of love. He can fill us up like nothing this world can ever give.

Do we appreciate the love and adoration that comes from our spouse? Of course. God even tells them to love us as Christ loves the church. (Ephesians 5:25). But relying on them to be our source will always end in disappointment and cause friction in marriage. It places expectations on our spouses that they can never live up to.

And imagine that job, that house, that dream position we long for.We come to realize that it never fulfills. We can have dreams and goals to accomplish these things, but they will never bring us complete satisfaction. So how do we make God our primary source for love? How can we receive the love that He longs to give us?

She always felt disappointed and I never felt like she did enough. When I let me down, she tried to gain it from jobs and positions.If I want to feel completely loved and love those around me better, I have to be filled with a love that overflows.A friend once told me,”Only God can provide the kind of love that fills up and spills over.”

There was a time in my life when I depended on my spouse to be that kind of love.I expected him to be my happiness, my joy, my source of love whenever I needed it.I expected him to be God.I felt devastated when he could not come through for me.I was searching for love and fulfillment, but in all the wrong places.Many of us get stuck searching. We rely on various things in the world to fill voids only God was meant to fill.

Here’s the truth that eventually surfaced in my life:Spouses are not designed to be our primary source of love and fulfillment.

3 Ways to Find Fulfillment in God’s Love

Spend Time with Him

All relationships require time. If we never spent time with our husbands, we wouldn’t have a successful marriage. If we want an abundant, awesome relationship with God we have to spend time with Him. I prefer to have touch points throughout the day with Him. Don’t get me wrong, spending time with Him in the morning is amazing. It provides a solid foundation for the rest of my day. However, just like my gas tank gets empty the longer I drive, my spiritual tank gets empty as I engage in life every day. I need a fill up throughout the day. I love being able to bring each issue, frustration and even victories to Him throughout the day. The more time I spend with Him, the more I feel loved by Him.

Rely on Him

I can get into the habit of bringing all my problems to my husband. Although he does love helping me solve them, it can be draining for him as well. Many times I go to him before I go to God. Not only does this cause strain on my marriage, but it causes distress in my soul. I expect him to be able to understand what I’m feeling when I can’t put it into words. Yet when I rely on God and go to Him first, I’m able to properly process out some of the lies and replace them with truths before throwing them on my husband. It makes for a much more palatable conversation for both of us. My husband feels like he is still able to help, but he’s not feeling the brunt of all my emotions. When I rely on God for even the smallest of things, I begin to rely on Him for the bigger things, including love.

Praise Him

There is something amazing about worshipping God. Although I don’t completely understand it, I know that when I do it I enter His Presence. In His Presence is fullness of joy and an abundance of love. The minute I turn on worship, it’s as if I can lay down all my burdens and pick up His love. 1 Peter 4:8 says this: “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” When we chose Jesus as our Lord, we were reconciled to the Father. His love covered all of our sins. I think that is what happens when I worship as well. His presence is so full of love that any sin, disappointment, or unworthy feelings are covered by His perfect love.

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